Christmas

I had a wonderful Christmas with my family. Everything was so perfect, the kids helped bake and we did crafts. It was so nice and relaxing. Every Christmas I get so stressed out over gifts, baking , decorating and trying to make the perfect Christmas for my family. This year I discovered the secret to a perfect Christmas. The secret is to just relax and enjoy the time you spend with your family! Seriously why stress? What will be will be and there is no point getting all worked up over things you have no control of. Its not about the gifts or the perfect turkey its about spending time with the ones you love and enjoying just being with them. My fondest memories of Christmas as a child is not the gifts I got but the gathering of family and I want my children to remember the time spent together not just what was under the tree. People complain about the commercialization of Christmas but really it doesn't have to be that way for you if you don't let it. I will still have my quirks about Christmas like I have to drive everyone nuts trying to find the just right tree and only I can decorate the tree, however the kids get their own in their room to decorate and they are very happy with that. They also get to place their special ornaments on the tree with me having no say as to where they go. There were a few moments when I could feel myself stressing but I just had to let it go so I could enjoy all the good things. From now on Christmas will be a time of family more than everything so that each and every Christmas can be as perfect as this one was.

Happy Moments

Today despite everything else I had a smile put on my face that will be lasting. As I was going through my closet seeing what fit and what did not made me so happy! I know that I have lost a lot of weight but seeing on the scales is one thing , trying on clothes in your closet is another. As I went through my clothes and found so many that were no longer wearable because they were baggy and falling and just looking horribly big was a happy moment that will get me through the difficult times. Although most of my weight loss was due to illness it is still a victory. I hope I can continue to lose weight by eating healthier and trying as hard as it is to put physical activity in.

Tired

I have been so tired lately and in so much pain. I often wonder if this will ever end. Will I ever get the help I need? Are the doctors really listening and understanding what I am going through? Its so hard to deal with getting more difficult each day. My kids are missing out on so much because I can't seem to feel well enough and with no help they loose out in the end. Do any of the doctors care about how this is destroying my life and my families? It doesn't seem like it. I don't know why I keep bothering to go back they are not helping. I am so tired of the doctors not doing anything, tired of being in pain and just plain tired from not getting any sleep.

Thanksgiving

We had a wonderful thanksgiving dinner. Unfortunately I spent 3 hours in the er Monday afternoon in terrible pain. On Friday I had my second lithrotripsy treatment and was told it was good. So the stone apparently broke up and was not suppose to give me anymore trouble. HA! They have never had a kidney stone! They couldn't have otherwise they would have gave me something for pain. So by the time Monday came I could not stand the pain and made the trip into the er and spent 3 hours there wishing I was home helping with dinner. When I got home dinner was ready and waiting and it was soooooooooo good! I am so glad my husband knows how to cook otherwise we would have been starving. This year I am especially thankful for my family and hope that we have many more Thanksgiving dinners together that are happy and joyful as this one was. Yes even though I spent 3 hours in the hospital it was still a good one because we were together. As my oldest daughter gets older I hope that she sees the importance of spending the holidays with her family and continues to spend it with us. I often worry that as she gets older she won't want to be with us on holidays like I see so many other kids now going to spend them with friends instead of family. However , I think at least I hope that we are showing her the importance of family and family togetherness.

Our Health Care?

I have been suffering for 4 years with back pain and to this day have never seen a specialist! I don't understand what it takes for someone to get the help they need with our health care system the way it is. Some people are fortunate enough to get to see someone and get the help they need but me I am just suffering in so much pain everyday. My doctor does not give me enough pain medication to live a productive life due to the dependent nature of the drugs used to relieve the pain. So instead of living life and trying to enjoy what little time god will allow me to be here I lay on the couch day after day in terrible pain. When things become this bad in a persons life shouldn't the quality of life count for something? Does this not suggest a person should see someone with expertise to help that person? The Canadian health care system has really gone down the drain and what are we suppose to do about it? With all the new drugs out on the market and so many bad side effects and doctors really not being educated enough we have to do our research stand up for ourselves and really be our own advocates.

Great Friends and Saving money

Of course in any life changes it is always great to be able to share your success and failures. I have met a great group of people to share this with and find new ways to save money. My friends on www.fabulouscanadianfreebies.com have helped me with finding great ways to save money, find coupons for the things I need and with the coupon train getting coupons has been a great way to save. The coupon train travels through every province in Canada with everyone adding to the coupons as it travels from person to person you get a great variety of coupons. You simply remove the coupons you want and add some that you have and will not be using, send it off to the next person. Also on www.fabulouscanadianfreebies.com there are many contests from various sites to enter. Many members win tons of stuff , I myself have been lucky enough to win some great prizes , last year I had won over $8,000 in cash and prizes! However it is also a wonderful community of people that you can chat with and can really brighten your day! So thanks Prue and Bcteagirl for a fabulous site I am so happy to be a part of! I know with all the changes I am making in my life following my dreams and passions this group of people will be very valuable to me.

Right now they have a great contest going on it is enter to win a tropical gift pack check it out here : http://fabulouscanadianfreebies.com/?p=1604
the prize consits of

• 250ml Lemon & Lime lotion from The Body Shop
• Small Papaya Body Butter from The Body Shop
• 100ml Tropical Coconut Cooling Foot spray from Avon
• 100ml Tropical Coconut Foot Lotion from Avon
• Small Pedicure Set
• Sample of Armani Code Eau De Toilette
• Sample of Armani Diamonds Eau de Parfum
• Towelette sample of Mariah Carey’s Luscious Pink
• Small gold mesh tote to keep it all in!
• “Try me free” coupon for the Glade Fragrance Collection (exp. 2010)

Finding Time

Why do we have such hard time finding the time for ourselves and the things we want? I know what I want and yet finding time to work it into my everyday life is hard. Why should I feel guilty for taking time for things that will improve my life? I can't really set up a schedule as of yet to dedicate to everyday but that will come. For now I will settle on finding a little bit of time each day for learning . My goal for the end of September will be to put aside every day 2 hours to spend on learning and improving so I may follow my passion. It is going to be hard at first but I'm sure it will get easier over time. Some days I feel like I have ADD and can't seem to focus! I have to wait until next year to go to school but that does not mean I can't still learn and study at home now so next year I will be prepared. Yes , finding time is very important and not late at night which I have been doing. The time that is put aside must be in daylight hours not at night. At night I'm too tired to concentrate and then find it hard to wind down from the day. So by this time next week I will have worked out a time that works for me.It will of course be flexible . This is important for everyone to do even if you are just someone who needs time to relax. Finding time is not always easy but well worth it.